My mom and I whispered across the thick blanket of darkness about the loss, the ache, the missing, the break downs and the tiny triumphs. We stood - hypothetically, since we were actually laying down - in solidarity with each other; we mourned and rejoiced shoulder-to-shoulder. In the end, we stayed up well past 1AM and the next morning found me downing coffee like it was going out of style.
But my soul was well watered.
There was something about that night - the sharing together in an emotion, an experience - that was life-giving. We had participated in true communion.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines communion as: 'intimate fellowship or rapport.'
Read that again, 'intimate fellowship or rapport'. Doesn't that make your soul ache? We were created for community, for connection, for deep relationship. We were made in the image of the triune God, who at His very essence is relational even within His own being. And again we see relationship built into our very design, for when God formed Adam from dust He said, 'it is not good for man to be alone'.
But the reality is that sometimes we feel alone. Sometimes we find ourselves physically alone.
I have spent countless hours crying in my car, in my closet, under my covers (shoutout to my emotional-stage-fright buddies) lamenting that no one else could really understand the pain in my heart. Lamenting the isolation, the alienation, born of loss.
Yet here's the thing. We all share in the human experience, which is to say we all suffer. In that commonality the seed of empathy is planted. And where there is empathy, there is the potential for communion to grow. In every relationship, every association, there is latent communion.
There is this phrase used in the Christian Church, 'the communion of the saints'. There are two meanings here: communion in holy things (sancta) and communion among holy persons (sancti). Taken in its sancti interpretation, communion of the saints describes the spiritual connection among christians both on earth and in heaven. On earth, that makes sense... but in heaven? Are we really connected to those who have died?
I never gave much thought to the communion of the saints until my dad passed away and there developed this burning hunger in my soul to still be linked to him somehow. The Bible speaks about a 'great cloud of witnesses' that observe the lives of the faithful still on earth. I truly believe that my dad and I are still in communion, that we are still intimately connected in this eternal web of souls. That in my struggles, in my sorrows, my dad is presently rooting for me from the perspective of one who has known adversity and also known the secession of it. He and I are in a communion built through the shared experience of suffering and grace.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us”
This communion with the saints, temporal or ethereal, is made possible because of another communion of suffering - that of Jesus Christ.
Jesus' life on earth was filled with trials and tribulations, griefs and injustices - he was described in scripture as a 'man of many sorrows'. Besides wrongful prosecution, torture and subsequent crucifixion, Jesus also experienced the death of his cousin John, the death of his friend Lazarus, the betrayal of one of his close disciples and the denial of another. He was well acquainted with the sting of suffering.
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows... But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.”
Think about that for a moment. God chose to suffer so that we might come into communion with him. It is through Christ's suffering on the cross that we are reconciled to God. It is through Christ's humanity that we are able to come before a God who understands, who empathizes.
If you find yourself feeling alone today, struck down and without hope - remember this - you are invited to be a part of the most intimate fellowship of all: the communion of saints, the communion of Christ.
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s suffering.”